Lesbian Love Like a Ripe Papaya

I’ve thought a lot about papaya. In 1995, after a brutal, gut-wrecking bout of giardia in Baños de Agua Santa, Ecuador, the sisters I worked alongside at a bed and breakfast, Rosita and Margot, handed me a spoonful of papaya seeds. “Bite and swallow,” they smiled. I gagged at the bitterness, did it anyway, and healed. For almost two years, they guided me with water, herbs, and fruit back to vibrant stomach health. Papaya became my go-to lover for my tender, North-American-in-a-new-ecosystem belly, and I began to study, court, and embrace all of her.

I’ve been thinking about papaya as it relates to lesbian dating & love, and how my life would have been different had I dated the same way I select papayas. At the market, I don’t grab the first papaya I see. I lift and listen in. I check for tenderness and strength, notice sunspots and soft bruises, sense ripeness by feel and scent. I imagine the seeds inside, the sweetness to come from that fruit, and I’m willing to leave a hundred papayas on the shelf to find the one that’s right for me today, even if that means walking out with empty hands.

I notice the same lessons echo through my work as a coach. It’s more common than not that women wander into lesbian dating & relationships ravenous, grab what’s on the front display, try to make it work, cut away the bruises, call it “good enough,” and then wonder why the meal is short, unsatisfying, or makes them feel sick. It’s like there’s an ingrained lesbian scarcity-shopping mentality, as if this is the only papaya you’ll ever find, so you take home whatever’s up front and try to make it fit.

The art is discernment, especially when hunger, tantalizing chemistry, and the urge to lesbian fuse are loud. It’s the pause at the bin. It’s trusting you can set one down and keep looking. It’s letting your hands learn ripeness over time. Dating can be like that too — measured connection and intimacy, honest check-ins, noticing weak spots before you’re all in, trusting there are more good options than the one right in front of you.

This is where coaching helps. Think of me as a modern-day Rosita/Margot on your dating-and-relationship aisle—steady eyes, gentle humor, practiced heart. Together we slow the pace, tune your senses, and relearn how to choose, so you can stop “scarcity shopping” and start selecting what truly nourishes your heart and life.

If you’re ready to pick for sweetness, not panic, I’m here. It’s time to create and nourish the ripest papaya of your lesbian love life—the one that’s medicine for your system and a real match for your inner and outer ecosystems.