Catfish, Coaching & Clear Water

A week ago, in one of my favorite Florida springs, I found myself mesmerized by the fish drifting through that crystal-clear blue-green water, especially the bullhead catfish. They’re these sturdy, whiskered beings that feel almost prehistoric, like they carry whole stories in their bodies. They gather together quietly, almost like a group meditation circle. And when they do move, it’s with such groundedness, as if they know exactly who they are and have nothing to prove.

And of course, in true lesbian-dating-metaphor fashion, my mind went immediately to catfishing in the online world. The way the “waters” out there can become murky, confusing, or straight-up distorted. How easy it is to think you’re seeing something clearly when, underneath the surface, the currents tell a different story.

But watching these real catfish — the actual catfish — something softened. Because catfish in nature aren’t tricksters. They’re just themselves: steady, honest, visible in the clear spring water. They belong to an ecosystem where everything is simply what it is. No disguises. No confusion. Just fish being fish.

And it struck me how much this mirrors the experience many of my clients bring into coaching:

the longing for clarity, for truth, for a place where the water finally becomes clear enough to see what’s actually there.

Because life — whether dating, relationships, big decisions, or inner thresholds — can get murky.

Signals get mixed. Old patterns cloud perception. The surface looks smooth, but underneath, something feels off. And it’s hard to know what to trust.

Coaching becomes its own kind of spring-fed ecosystem — a space where the silt can settle and you can finally see yourself clearly again. A place where you can look at your desires, your boundaries, your patterns, and your possibilities without distortion. A place where you’re not swimming alone, trying to make sense of currents you can barely name.

In clear water, you can tell which parts of you are the “catfish,” the grounded, honest ones, and which parts are old survival strategies pretending to be something else. You can distinguish what’s truly you from what’s just habit or fear or someone else’s voice in your head. And you can begin to orient toward the people and choices you truly want beside you.

In this Florida natural spring, you can literally see that clarity, the Florida Gar, long and elegant like underwater dragons, or the Bluegill Sunfish shimmering in electric blues and yellows, each one unmistakable for what it is.

Imagine if your inner world felt more like that….

Crystal water. Your nervous system relaxed. More clarity and belonging to yourself.

That’s what coaching offers:

A protected, spacious place where you get to meet yourself again. Where you learn to trust what you see.

Where patterns become clear instead of overwhelming. Where you can move through transitions, relationships, dating, grief, or growth with someone right beside you — witnessing, guiding, grounding, and reflecting your strengths back to you.

Together, we can sort out what’s real, what’s residue, and what’s possible — and help you swim in clearer waters that actually support who you’re becoming.

If you’re ready for more clarity, more groundedness, and more trust in yourself as you navigate your next chapter, I’m here.

Let’s wade in. The spring is waiting.