Slow Snorkel into the Lesbian Sea

Until a couple Sundays ago, I had never explored the full length of the pier in front of one of the beaches near my home in South Florida. Just twelve minutes by bike from my door is one of the best shore entry points into the Florida Coral Reef Tract, a living system that stretches 380 miles up the Atlantic coast. Yet for nearly four years, I stayed close to shore, watching sunrises, swimming, and snorkeling in the shallows. I had thought about venturing farther many times, but never felt safe taking the plunge alone.

Until a couple Sundays ago, I had never explored the full length of the pier in front of one of the beaches near my home in South Florida. Just twelve minutes by bike from my door is one of the best shore entry points into the Florida Coral Reef Tract, a living system that stretches 380 miles up the Atlantic coast. Yet for nearly four years, I stayed close to shore, watching sunrises, swimming, and snorkeling in the shallows. I had thought about venturing farther many times, but never felt safe taking the plunge alone.

What made it easier for me to get over some of my fears and venture out to the end of the pier this past Sunday, were three friendly snorkelers, Kurt, Ross & Nick (Kurt took the underwater photos) who struck up a conversation close to shore. After the sun rose, they slipped into the ocean with easy smiles and a local snorkeler’s kind of swag. I asked a few questions and learned this was their 7am Sunday ritual. When I admitted I’d never been to the end of the pier or really explored the first reef, they asked what I’d been waiting for. I told them I’d been holding out for someone who really knew the way, and they immediately invited me along. They’d be filming with a GoPro, and together we set off on the adventure. 

What unfolded was magical. In less than an hour, we encountered a rainbow of tropical fish, including sergeant major fish, clown fish, pork fish, sting rays, pools of barracuda, brilliant coral and thousands of tiny little silversides sparkling like a disco ball at a gay nightclub (a few pics below). It was such a relief to be off land, floating in the calm of the ocean, easing my fears, in the company of new welcoming friends. I thought about the opportunities I’d missed out on by not exploring sooner. And instead of giving myself a hard time, I remembered that, just like everything else in life, it happened when I was ready.

And, of course, the whole experience had me thinking about lesbian dating & relationships :).

It had me thinking about how invaluable it is to have a great local guide, a trusted coach, when setting out into this lesbian sea. Someone who has been deeply woven into the diverse ecosystems you may encounter, and who can accompany you in what feels like a subsurface exploration of the coral reefs of our lesbian / queer hearts. 

It had me reflecting on how safe containers that can be oxygen tanks for loving deeply. When we “swim together” taking heart-centered risks in dating and relationships, we become a beautiful buffer for one another. Having witnesses to these deep dives helps reduce the risks, reminds us when it’s time to come up for air, and celebrates those moments when it’s right to go deeper into vulnerability and connection.

So this is my invitation: come out to the edge of the reef and discover the beauty waiting there. If you’ve been stung before, lost faith that there’s anything worth exploring in the sea, or if you’ve stayed on the shore with trepidation because lesbian and queer love is new to you, I’m here for you. You can wade slowly, take a gentle Sunday swim, or simply sit on the pier and listen until you’re ready.